I love Hilma She’s so tiny, I’m sure if you try really hard, you can fit her in your pocket. Like I said, she’s tiny. But she’s also a ball of feist- the whole dynamite in small packages thing was probably written about her. So anyhu, when I first met Hilma, one of the things she was intent on was teaching me to twerk.

Now you know me and you know I can not twerk for all the money in the world. I don’t even dance-hell I’m not even sure I walk right. So I didn’t learn how to twerk and I moved on with my life.

See, I’ve always been okay with my inability to do a lot of this physical stuff- it’s not my forte. So I just let it go. Until I was talking to this guy friend of mine. who dead-ass said to me “You ‘re smart anyway, you don’t need to twerk”. ( Sidenote, I don’t spend my day talking to people talking about twerking, it just came up in the context of the conversation that we were having. ) And that’s where the problem started.

I don’t mind not being able to twerk, I quite literally could not care less. What I mind however is being put in a box, just because I’m “smart”doesn’t mean I can’t be anything other than that. Those two are not mutually exclusive. Why does it have to be an either/or situation.

And I think this is a dilemma that most women are faced with , the pressure of having to choose between being smart and being sexy. Again why does one have to replace the other? It’s a notion that has been perpetuated and hammered on to us for so long, we have also started to believe that we can only be one of the two.
And I remember for the longest time, I used to tell myself that “I’m fairly smart, I don’t need to be pretty” or “Because I’m never the prettiest girl in the room, I then have to be the smartest”…THAT’S A LOAD OF BULL.

My issue is this “rule only applies to one gender”. Pop culture examples coming up.
Exhibit A: Noone ever questions Christian Grey: He is handsome, he is smart, he has money, he is aware of his sexuality and proud of it. Then opposite Christian Grey, we put Anastacia Steele, she is incredibly smart and as a result, she’s a frigid virgin who winces at the mere thought of her own sexuality.

That’s just a classic example of yet another odd standard that women are supposed to conform to. In any case, smart and sexy don’t replace or compensate for each other. Smart does smart things and sexy does sexy things. One can not do what the other does. So it’s very possible for somebody to be able to execute both. There are really no rules.