I’m not saying it’s been easy, it hasn’t but I’m here and here’s good
That’s a line from someone on One Tree Hill, not really sure who, I never really watched the show…I’m sidetracking here, point is here, where I am, in this moment is good enough for me.
Very often, because we are human, tragically human we feel the urge to complain about our situation and compare it to the next person then spend the next million minutes sulking and playing the victim about how we don’t have it as good as the next person does.
I had an epiphany recently. About three weeks ago, I visited a certain community in my city (perks of being a reporter) and lets just say I got quite the reality check. The people don’t have much, you basically have an entire family living in a hostel , a hostel which can not be more than ten square metres in size and suddenly I felt like such an entitled , spoilt, ungrateful brat. Thinking about the many times I basically threw a bitchfit because my mum asked me to move to Retha (my sister)’s room for a night so we could accommodate a visiting relative.
Now I’m not saying I walk out of some state of the art building every morning, no, I’m saying things could be way worse and they aren’t and that on its own is reason enough to be grateful for everything that I have.
I have a lot to be appreciative for…a few years ago, I was a needy (very needy) awkward looking girl in glasses and now, a few years later, granted I’m still pretty much that same awkward looking girl in classes but a lot has changed, I’ve seen things and experienced things.
I’ve made questionable decisions, I have lost friends, cried more times than I am humble enough to admit, regretted some of the things I have done but I’m still here, and as long as I am here, I still have a shot at making things right.
I have an
internship job. I have a job that I love in as much as jobs can be loved. I have a family that loves me, in as far as I can be loved, I’m working on a few things that (fingers crossed and prayed up) will hopefully grow into things bigger than myself and although I am years, decades even away from being the person I really want to be, I am at peace with where I am right now.