#GuestPost: The Girl, The Poet, The Time Loop
They say you never get a second chance to make a great impression
So here I am writing time machine poems in an attempt to go back and make corrections
As the lead of this Shakespeare-like Tragedy.. I’m going back..
Back to the moment I had just successfully put myself back together
Brick by brick
Dimension by dimension
Measurement by measurement
I have spent an eternity building this temple
It all feels biblical.. Old Testament
Going back to the moment I could not love, heal or forgive myself
These damaged goods expired on the top shelf
Unrequited love is the seventh chamber of hell
Going back to the moment a colourful soul courageously broke out of her shell to tell me she loved me and I kindly asked her to love someone else
This is the kind of pain that causes poets to run out of metaphors
Going back to the time a black hole began to nibble at my sunshine from my core
Realizing the one that pulled the trigger is the same one I was willing to eat bullets for
I would have swallowed missiles for you; all to let you know that holding your hand teleported me to Jupiter were diamonds rain and pour
Going back to the moments before the denial and anger
The moment I became cognizant of the fact that I didn’t know you anymore and we were yet again total strangers
Going back to the moment I walked away from you to silently suffer..
Spirit heavy from placing one foot in front of the other
Kicking rocks, looking for God, staring into a purposeless sky
No more fire works in my soul just water works in my eyes
Going back to the time my fragile heart was shattered into decimals that no mathematician could round round-off to the nearest fragments and bits
Who wrote this damn book? I don’t even know what this chapter is..
How am I ever going to be okay after this?
How will I get rid of your ghosts?
How could you have left me when I needed you the most?
Going back to the moments I couldn’t tell whether I was doing too much or too little
Walking the thin between ‘In it for the long haul’ and ‘Noncommittal’
I couldn’t see through your lies
You couldn’t see through mine
You were already one foot into your next relationship and I was too blind to see the signs
Going back to the time things were perfect!
I had the greatest girlfriend of all time on my arm
Full of intentions to put solar systems on your wrists and around your neck as lucky charms
We were going to conquer the world
Already picking out scriptural names for our imaginary unborn little boys and girls
We were invincible you and I..
You were my answered prayer; you just had to be
Because I met you right after I asked the heavens, “Is anybody there?”
Going back to the first few dates
We are eating at classy restaurants, table for two, ordering delicious plates… But our mouths watered for the person we sat across from
Going back to my place.. Failing to take our hands off each other telling each other we were going to wait..
Going back to the night I asked you to be mine
With zero hesitation… You said yes
I was magic to you.. Those big hazel eyes held my facial features in fascination
It was all a God damn fairytale pulled out of a childish imagination
Before our love was ever cool and cosmic, Supersonic
Going back to a simpler era, when were just two platonics
Going back to the very first moment I met you
Without the slightest clue that I would one day regret you
Every guy in the room was checking you out
I was downplaying how attractive I found you because I had my doubts
… And here we are again