So I bumped into a blog titled 30 Facts About Nkosilesisa Kwanele Ncube on the web corridors, I found the piece funny and interesting and most of the facts were the complete opposite of me. I asked if I could directly respond with mine, she agreed.
And here we are, Nkocy’s facts are numbered and my responses are in bold.

  1. I started smiling at three weeks old. Or so says my baby card.
    I don’t know when I started to smile, wait I didn’t know that baby cards capture details like smiling, what if my first smile comes when everyone is asleep.
  2. I’m a Virgo. September 6, pencil it into your diaries.
    I am an Aries, the first astrological sign in the zodiac. March 24.
  3. I fell off a moving car when I was seven. Then I got up and chased after said car.
    I fell off a bicycle whilst learning how to ride (That was all peer pressure). I never liked bikes and my parents never bought me one.
  4. I broke my leg at 6 months old. Allegations are it was my sister’s fault but she maintains her innocence.
    No broken bones but I have been stitched twice just above my left eye, removing part of my eye brows in a stylish manner though.
  5. I can’t eat beetroot because the colour makes me dizzy. I don’t know how it happens, it just does.
    I don’t like beetroot, the smell sucks. A few weeks back I took it and had a funny coloured, reddish discharge and I was convinced it was that so-called salad.
  6. I’m an animal lover to the death. I have had 7 dogs. I had adopted a few cats back in Lusaka and I really hope someone is feeding them while I am away and I will get a rabbit one day.
    I started liking dogs when I lived with my Uncle in Victoria Falls, he loves dogs. Recently me and my friend adopted a pit bull after the master’s death. Dexter is his name.
  7. If teaching paid fairly, that would have been my career of choice. I love sharing knowledge y’all and I love learning and I hope one day I can fulfil my teaching dream.
    I believe I was born a footballer and what I am doing with my life right now is peer pressure. I hope one day I will get into football administration and live my footballing dream.
  8. I talk to myself more times than I am woman enough to admit.
    A day doesn’t pass without talking to myself.
  9. I speak pretty decent Sesotho: I taught myself from TV. Even added a bit of accent for just.
    I speak decent Chinyanja.
  10. I made my first TV appearance at age 12. A minister had come to our school for prize giving day and guess who was accepting the best student prize? This gal here.
    I made my first TV appearance at the age of 14, it was a cameo appearance though. I stood next to my father, a football coach who was being interviewed during the Coca Cola NASH soccer finals.
  11. I got my driver’s license on attempt number 15. I’m still a crappy driver though.
    I am not a licensed driver and I know you are a better driver than me.
  12. I have an incredibly strong memory. It’s more encyclopedic than photographic. I can almost recall any conversation to the word. However, I can never remember directions to anywhere.
    A sharp memory I have. I can recall any conversation to the word, however I am bad with names, we can hangout five times and still forget your name and I wont ask you, its embarrassing and disrespectful.
  13. I have never been on a train or a horse.
    I have been on a train more than I have been on a plane, speak of my childhood- the blue train was the ish, In South Africa they still have the Blue Train.
  14. I am deathly terrified of escalators. I need someone to hold my hand when I go up or down one. Escalators are death traps.
    Escalators, death traps? Okay I will take you to an escalator ride.
  15. Numbers confuse me. My sister is a numbers wizard. I on the other hand sometimes do not add well. Long division made me cry when I was 8 and I remember crying more recently as I was doing a budget for a production. Cried. Actual tears. I do have O’Level Maths though guys. Got a B on my first attempt. Look at God.
    I hate numbers, Mathematics should end at primary school level just to enable people to count nje.
  16. I am yet to fall in love. Listen I know sis is old but it’s true. I have liked people very much and I have cared about them. But I have never been in love. So universe, do your thang.
    I have fallen in love, they said that feeling is love. On your side the ‘universe’ is ready for you.
  17. I am faster on paper than on keyboard. It’s so much easier to think when you’re putting pencil to paper than when are putting finger to keyboard to screen to space bar..it’s a lot guys.
    I am weirdly faster on the keyboard than on paper. Besides my handwriting sucks, my mother always says its ‘left foot writing’.
  18. I used to sell terrible poetry in primary school. It was my sister’s idea. I got caught, she didn’t. 🙄
    In school I traded football magazine pictures and posters. No-one could afford the whole 442 or Soccer Laduma magazine. I had the latest magazines from my father.
  19. When my breasts first started growing, I was convinced I had Breast Cancer. I was at a boarding school and my dad had to come and pick me up and take me to the doctor. Doctors sadly do not cure puberty.
    I never developed puberty pimples (talk of good skin), I thought I was not normal and afraid it will hit me when I am playing cool guy in University.
  20. I’m the jokester in nearly all my friend groups. Nobody believes this however because a lot of people buy into this “serious as death” thing that I have going on, which I equally love by the way.
    I am a jokester everywhere with everyone and everyone thinks I am never serious in life but those who know me very well will tell you that I am a serious person.
  21. I am very awkward around new people. I have patted a human being on the head more than once.
    I am good with new people.
  22. In retrospect, I may have fallen onto a depression when I was 14 but I just didn’t know that’s what it was. There was a lot of sadness and crying and not wanting to be a part of anything. Or maybe that was just puberty.
    I did not know puberty. The only puberty I know was wet dreams.
  23. I am newly allergic to chocolate. But nobody can stop reggae. if I die, I die.
    Allergies? I don’t think I have any. Maybe beetroot. Should I be the one to kill you with chocolates?
  24. I cannot fall asleep without socks on. I don’t care how hot it is, no socks, no sleep.
    I can’t fall asleep without socks too. As I scribbled this blog I was wearing socks.
  25. I cried when Hillary Clinton lost the US election. I was so invested in it. I remember I was interning at Sunday News at the time. The office TV was on CNN and when they announced that she had conceded, I got up and went to the bathroom to cry.
    I celebrated the outcome, for what reason I don’t know.
  26. In high school, I never had a song book or autobook or…that book. I think in my teenage head, that was my idea of rebelling against the system.
    I am a failed rapper, I had a lyric book where I jotted down lyrics.
  27. I have had the same phone number for 11 years. This is my second sim card…ever. The first one was a Netone Contract line that my dad gave me in 2007 then he took it away in 2009 because I was over using it and I needed to learn to buy my own airtime😒.
    I have had the same phone number for 12 years.
  28. I have lived in the same house for 21 years. And the way this country is set up, I might be here for another 21 years😂😂.
    I Have been around. I have lived in Bulawayo, Victoria Falls, Kwekwe, Kadoma and Harare.
  29. I have never watched a single Star Wars movie and that is a shame that I carry with me every single day. I will watch the movies though. I’ll do a marathon like i did with the MCU movies.
    I did Star Wars but was never fascinated.
  30. Finally, I watch Titanic twice every year and it still as good as it was the first time.
    I have never watched Titanic, should I be ashamed of myself?

I will add another fun fact NUMBER 31: This is our first meaningful conversation. We have only exchanged greetings once I think before you could hide your eyes in your lenses and act all serious.